I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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