Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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