if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
