how can u be prego again
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
