my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
