How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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