so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
