you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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