sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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