please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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