Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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