The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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