why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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