I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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