i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
that may or may not have been my penis.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
