You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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