i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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