Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
