ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
