you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
