Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
