But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
