what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
