If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
