i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
