Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
