is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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