I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
