Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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