i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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