do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
