i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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