I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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