some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
