Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
