could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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