If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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