I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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