just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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