Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
