I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
