I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
should my penis look like a turkey
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
