I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
