I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
