One girl and one boy is just not enough.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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