this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
