i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
