you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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