Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
ttyl tear gas
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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