I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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