im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
