i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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