I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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