I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.