all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.