Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.