Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon