her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
