so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
