I just pynch a tree in the face
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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