Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize