Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Randomize
