If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
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I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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