I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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