why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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