ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
