Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
