I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
