My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
