What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
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Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
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You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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