I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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